There are some issues that we cannot simply talk ourselves out of. The part of our brain that thinks in verbal language and uses logic to solve problems is distinct from the area of our brain where we process emotions. This means that in order to move past deep-seated trauma and other difficult emotional wounds, we must intervene on the physical and emotional subcortical level as well as on the logical, neocortical level.
Brainspotting (BSP) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy both facilitate emotional processing and help us to see ourselves, others, and the world around us in a new light. Read on to learn more about both modalities and which one may be right for you.
Have you ever labeled yourself as the “black sheep” of your family, workplace, or somewhere where you’re “supposed” to naturally belong? The Black Unicorn highlights how intersectionality is an ongoing process that requires individuals to navigate and balance the multiple dimensions of their identity. Society often places marginalized individuals where they have to prove their worthiness, which can be a burdensome and exhausting experience. This expectation disregards the fullness of their experiences and reduces their identities to a single narrative, overshadowing their resilience, joy, and other aspects of their lives. This blog post, written by Susan Stork, located in Baltimore, Maryland, explores the four main qualities of a black unicorn and how we can harness our individuality into our superpower.
In 2021, Space between counseling posted a blog addressing the national shortage of couple therapists. Did anything change? Are there more couple therapists now? Since the pandemic hit, therapists, counselors, psychologists, and social workers have been seeking to address the concerns and needs of couples with relational concerns. But what happened? Why was the pandemic a catalyst for relational problems? It seems the pandemic, and subsequent shelter-in-place mandates, have served as a catalyst for relational issues and in some way forced couples to spend time with their emotions.
In this blog post, we explore some of the reasons for a shortage in couples therapists, reveal evidence based theoretical orientations for relationship counseling, advise clients on how to search for an ideal fit couples therapist, and provide resources and recommendations for those who are stuck on waiting lists to be seen.
Have you ever had a therapy session when you left feeling exhausted, emotionally drained, and unable to do much for the rest of the day? Has it made you wonder if the therapy isn’t working? In this blog post, written by our Graduate student intern, Sehar Palla, we explore what is therapy hangover, why it happens and some helpful post-therapy self-care strategies.
Dr. Stephen Porges has coined the term “neuroception”, which describes how our neural circuits distinguish whether stimuli are safe or dangerous. While this phenomemon is innate and serves to protect us, sometimes traumatic experiences result in faulty neuroception - which causes individuals to perceive a situation to be harmful, even if there is no presence of a threat. This post explores the implications of polyvagal theory, stress responses, and neuroception.
What goes through someone’s mind after they cheat? A million different things.
The following letter is a fictitious note written by a regretful partner trying to save a relationship after infidelity. The letter may be made up but the feelings and worries it describes and my response (that’s part two of this post!) are very real.
-- Susan Stork, LCPC, NCC
Photo by Konstantin Planinski on Unsplash
Susan Stork, LCPC, NCC is a Relationship Therapist and founder Space Between Counseling Services in Baltimore City, Maryland.
Susan works with Type A’s ---> Creatives as they balance schedules, stress, and the modern challenges of coupleship.
Specializing in counseling for individuals and couples using Stan Tatkin’s PACT approach, Susan helps you move through the muck of life and into a life of purpose and connection.
It’s that time of year again. Holidays are in clear sight in all areas of life.
I get that this time of year is hard on many people.
Due to traumatic events, difficult family and/or events linked to this season - many people feel less than { Deep Gratitude, Joyful & Happy } in the days between November --> January.
#Holidays are a rough time of year for many people due to one reason or another.
So, what can we do it about it? Jaime Stacks @jamielstacks has a one formula to stop this “crazy train” that speeds through the holidays for some of us.
It starts with setting your intentions.
Using intentions {PLUS} the therapeutic idea of "Re-Storying" we can alter our current experiences in this “NOW” space of the season compared to the “THEN” space of previous sadness, harm and voids of previous seasons.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
{F I V E} Mindfulness tips to jump-start your Holiday Self-Care}
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
[ONE] Set intentions every morning
[TWO] Take 15-30 minutes everyday for yourself
[THREE] Take 15-30 minutes everyday for loved ones -- family + friends and mentors
[FOUR] Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
[FIVE] Gratitude Journal
•••
Photo by Estée Janssens on @Unsplash
•••
“We can do hard things.”
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
This is a saying that I’ve been saying + hearing lately - in my head, in my sessions, as a business owner, and as a partner + parent.
Understanding that we only have so much control of certain situations but we always have control of our commitments, our responses, our pause and our compassion for ourselves + others.
Being aware of feelings & expressing them PROACTIVELY - helps when things get "hard". Acknowledging that life can be scary, raw, over-whelming & unpredictable --- helps us to realize that it is normal, and that WE don't always have control when "hard things" enter our days. However, these feeling are a {S I G N} that something is amiss.
If you OFTEN use fight (judgement + aggression) , freeze (indecision + prolonged delay) or flee (avoidance) when {hard things} come your way - you might need some more support?
🖊Writing feelings out (journaling) and/or talking to others might help to identify difficult feelings.
📌Both help me personally to move forward with what I needed to do and not let anxious thoughts take over when "hard things" hit the fan.
🔸In addition, reaching out for help shares the load. I often reach out to my husband + colleagues + friends and ask for insight when "hard things" come my way.
What do you do to confront "hard things"❓
Who are your supports? ❓
Where do you go to reflect + recharge + reset❓
If you find that you often confront "hard things" with fight (aggression + judgement) freeze (prolonged delay + indecision) or flee (avoidance) - it might help to seek more support(s) to help process your feelings and responses to "hard things."
{HARD T H I N G S} do not have to be a way of life - you can share the load, redirect, and pivot when necessary.
A roller-coaster relationship feels similar to a roller-coaster ride. At first, the relationship moves at a nice steady pace forward. The person you’re dating is making time and effort to see you and it feels great, putting a smile on your face that’s bigger than Julia Robert's.
Relationships are bound to have moments of ups and downs; that’s normal. However, the downs should never exceed the ups. Those should also be far and few between.
If your relationship starts to have more unexpected jerking and swerving from left to right, back and forth leaving you nauseously dizzy, confused…that is obviously not a fun ride (or a healthy relationship).
If you start to feel more stress then excitement, sadness then happiness and more down’s than ups, it’s time to get your booty off this emotional roller-coaster relationship ride!
Partners can be helped immensely by having an "owners manual" for each other and their relationship.
Part of that "owners manual" or being an "expert on your partner" can be created by using the principles in the Couple Bubble by Dr. Stan Tatkin.
It's like being in a "fox hole" together and having each others back consistently both privately and publicly.
Yawning is a built-in repair circuit which triggers the Parasympathetic Nervous System, which calms everything down in your body.
We most associate yawning with boredom or being sleepy, but new research suggests it can be good for your health - by cooling down your brain.
Yawning is particularly useful when your body is stressed, injured, or ill. If you’ve got a headache, try yawn “surfing”– where you literally try to yawn over and over–in most situations, your headache will ease up.
Scientists at Princeton University found a big yawn can regulate the temperature of the brain and prevent over-heating. Stress activates the sympathetic nervous system, which increase blood pressure. Yawning activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which attenuates the sympathetic nervous system, reduces stress, and lowers the risk for high blood pressure.
Because #yawning disturbs your current sympathetic tone and forces the parasympathetic nervous system to act in order to restore your body to a resting state because yawning discharges STRESS from the body.
Feeling stressed or drained? Make an effort to yawn as a self-care strategy to help your blood pressure!
•••
Baltimore Couples:: Are you desiring a deeper understanding and connection?
Well then... Let's get OFF the couch and get face-to-face via PACT.
Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) - Founder: Dr. Stan Tatkin
PACT teaches both #partners how to #soothe each other's brain during times of #stress. The result is two brains that are chemically wired together and a #securelyfunctioningrelationship .
A PACT session is unlike any couple's therapy you may have experienced before.
** If you've been to standard couple's therapy, you may have left your session feeling worse than when you started.
•
PACT sessions are 90 mins - 3 hours in length to ensure a positive result with each experience.
Couples will face each other in rolling chairs, along with other postures as determined by the clinician while maintaining eye contact. Prolonged eye contact between partners allows defensive walls to come down, allowing the clinician to access core issues with less resistance.
••••••••••••••
In Baltimore & needing more information? Call Susan for a 15 minute complimentary phone consultation @ 443.527.2042
••
{You always have a choice}
•••
:: Seeking Calm? Find a guided meditation provider, whom provides the power of Mental Stillness.
I find my calm via buddhify and lessen my chaos with the help of Tara Brach.
Plus, July 1st could be a great day to start a new habit ✌🏼✌🏽✌🏿
•••
Stressed? Find your pattern. Find your lesson.
A good way of recognizing patterns in your life is by listening to your feelings, your intuition.
I’ve found that when I am involved in a pattern, my emotions run a bit stronger, kind of like a warning from my subconscious mind to pay attention to what’s happening.
•••
Many moons ago, as a young adult, pre-therapy, pre-mediation, pre-tuning in:: More often than not, I recognize the pattern (life lesson) when the situation had ended, or changed.
Hindsight is 20/20 in this way. It can be difficult to recognize a pattern while it’s playing out. This still happens to me in present life. However, I have learned to better pay attention to MY patterns.
Reflecting helps this. Awareness helps this. Time helps this. Being surrounded by caring and compassionate loved ones, family, and friends helps this.
•••
In life there will be continuous patterns and lessons sent our way. If we are aware and tuned in, we will learn to overcome our patterns and learn our individual lessons.
•••
The key is to be alert. When you’re open to recognizing a pattern, you can change it by learning the lesson, and in doing so, change your life. Equaling: less repeat and more JOY & Awareness.
