In Audre Lorde's profound work, "The Black Unicorn: Poems," she urges us to recognize and examine the differences among women, understanding that it is our refusal to do so that leads to distortions in our behavior and expectations. Through a therapeutic lens, we will delve into the importance of embracing intersectionality and how Lorde's exploration of empowerment, spirituality, autonomy, sexuality, and race provides valuable insights into women's diverse experiences. By critiquing hegemony, we can uncover the significance of an authentic, unified, and holistic feminist agenda.

Recognizing the Power of Intersectionality

Lorde's assertion that women's separation lies not in their differences but in our refusal to acknowledge and name them highlights the significance of intersectionality. Intersectionality emphasizes the interconnected nature of various aspects of identity, such as gender, race, sexuality, and class. By recognizing and examining these differences, we can gain a deeper understanding of the complexities within women's lives and experiences.

Reclaiming Spirituality and Autonomy

"The Black Unicorn" invites us to explore the theme of empowerment through the reclamation of spirituality and autonomy. Lorde emphasizes the importance of women connecting with their inner selves and reclaiming their spiritual power. By acknowledging and honoring their unique spiritual journeys, women can find strength and resilience in the face of adversity. Additionally, Lorde encourages women to assert their autonomy and make choices that align with their values and desires.

Embracing Sexuality as a Source of Liberation

Lorde's work challenges societal norms and encourages women to embrace their sexuality as a source of liberation. She highlights the significance of understanding and accepting one's own desires and pleasures, rejecting the restrictive narratives imposed upon women's sexuality. By embracing and celebrating their sexual selves, women can reclaim agency over their bodies and experiences, fostering a sense of empowerment and freedom.

Unpacking the Impact of Race

In "The Black Unicorn," Lorde explores the intersections of race and womanhood, shedding light on the unique experiences faced by women of color. She invites us to critically examine the distortions caused by misnaming and the effects of racism on behavior and expectations. By acknowledging and addressing these distortions, we can work towards dismantling systemic oppression and fostering a more inclusive feminist movement.

A Holistic Feminist Agenda Through Intersectionality

Lorde's critique of hegemony underscores the importance of embracing intersectionality to promote a truly inclusive and holistic feminist agenda. By recognizing the interconnectedness of various aspects of identity, we can challenge oppressive structures and create spaces that honor and uplift all women. Through intersectionality, we can amplify marginalized voices and work towards dismantling systems of oppression that disproportionately affect different groups of women.

A Moment of Self-reflection as a 2018 Blog by Susan Stork now Turns 5 years old

When the founder of Space Between Counseling Services, Susan Morgan Stork wrote a blog post in 2018 (the years, months, and days before covid) about the Black Unicorn Theory, indicating the ways that she, her clients, and others can harness - individuality into our superpower.

Susan Stork was then made aware of the book ‘The Black Unicorn’ by Audre Lorde. Proving… learning is never-ending and the deeper dive in the areas of a therapeutic theory combined with a poem from 1978 by Lorde has in many ways become a theory of mind for this Femme Queer, Sex Therapist in her midlife stages of community, purpose, and future.

Hang in there while we revisit the Black Unicorn Theory by Susan Stork with an enlightened spin since a lot has changed since 2018 in the now 2023 mindset of the world, community, and injustice among outliers and Black Unicorns, alike.

The Black Unicorn (a poem by Lorde) highlights how intersectionality is indeed an ongoing process that requires individuals to navigate and balance the multiple dimensions of their identity. It involves recognizing and acknowledging the interconnected nature of various social categories such as race, gender, sexuality, and more, and understanding how they intersect to shape one's experiences and perspectives.

Society often places marginalized individuals in a position where they have to prove their worthiness, which can be a burdensome and exhausting experience. This expectation disregards the fullness of their experiences and reduces their identities to a single narrative, overshadowing their resilience, joy, and other aspects of their lives.

The comparison of unicorns as fragile creatures needing protection can be seen as a metaphor for the vulnerability that marginalized individuals may experience.

For many years, I have personally felt ‘othered’ however at this stage of my upwardly mobile career path, as a femme queer, in a long-term partnership, parent of a teen (yes, it’s stressful), sex / relationship therapist, and small business owner in Baltimore City - I now do not feel this way as OFTEN as I have processed, grown, confronted, and worked stubbornly hard to blaze a path full of failures, resets, rejection, and grief.
Now I and others walk this path TOGETHER , care for it TOGETHER , and cultivate it TOGETHER and I feel less alone in CHOSEN community.
-Susan Morgan Stork : AASECT Certified Sex Therapist in Maryland, Delaware, Florida + New Mexico

Re-visiting: Black Unicorn Theory

by Susan Morgan Stork

Have you ever labeled yourself as the “black sheep” or “scapegoat” of your family, your workplace, or somewhere else where you’re “supposed” to naturally belong?

Let’s reframe that:

“You’re a Black Unicorn, Not a Black Sheep”

Let’s look at the four main qualities of a black unicorn:

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Individuals
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Rebels
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Risk Takers
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Free Thinkers
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Overall, black unicorns represent individuals who embrace their individuality, challenge the norm, take risks, and possess a distinctive and open-minded perspective. They are trailblazers who inspire others with their willingness to forge their own paths and create meaningful change.

Black Unicorns: Embrace their uniqueness and seek a balance that allows them to flourish in various aspects of life. It's important to strike a balance between independence and interdependence. While it's essential to honor your individuality and pursue your own path, nurturing social connections is equally important for personal well-being.

By finding a supportive community and being open to forming meaningful relationships, you can create a fulfilling life that embraces both your independent spirit and the human need for connection.

If you have EVER labeled yourself as the "black sheep" or "scapegoat" of your family, your workplace, or somewhere else where you're "supposed" to naturally belong — please keep reading this…

Drawing inspiration from the empowering wisdom of Audre Lorde, we can explore a different perspective. In our Baltimore therapy office, influenced by Lorde's teachings over the years, many of my/our clients use this phrase to describe themselves, I admit, I've used it myself to talk about whether I felt I fit into various groups too. There's something I find when we look closer at how and why we use these terms, however, and it has a lot to do with shame and how we feel we're being judged by other people.

For Lorde, the Black Unicorn was a symbol of power as well as the pain of being an outcast in society. Although she was strong, she was also solitary. The loneliness of a single Black Unicorn among all the White Unicorns symbolizes the pain minorities/people of color felt in America back then (and still now).

In my therapy sessions, I often ask my clients:

What if you weren't a black sheep? What if you were a black unicorn? Or a yellow, blue, or rainbow unicorn? Taking inspiration from the mythical creatures Audre Lorde’s poetry work touches upon, let's reconsider the narratives we create for ourselves as potential Black Unicorns.

Think for a moment of the unicorn stories you grew up on... Those mythical, majestic creatures were anything but ordinary.

Maybe you believed they came from a distant land full of magic. Maybe you dreamed that you'd be the lucky human who got to climb on one's back, hold tight to the beautiful mane, and go off on great adventures. Some stories have it that the unicorn had phenomenal healing powers. And, of course, there's that whole ability to walk on rainbows...

You're all grown up now, of course, and you probably don't fall asleep each night hoping you'll hear the tap of a golden horn on your windowpane. In fact, all that talk of rainbows and sparkles may seem a million miles from your everyday experience. However, inspired by Audre Lorde's insights, let's explore the possibilities of embracing the idea of being a "black unicorn”.

Think for a moment... What aspects of that unicorn idea still apply to you? What parts of it might be empowering and just plain fun to consider and explore? Specifically, what aspects of the black unicorn might be important to you as you reframe the idea of being the black sheep?

Black unicorns are individuals. They go their own way and have their own way of getting things done. Drawing from Lorde's understanding, they challenge the status quo and realize that positive changes happen when they speak out and act out.

They are risk-takers, willing to embrace new opportunities and achieve success by taking chances.

Black unicorns are free thinkers, possessing a different perspective that opens up amazing possibilities.

However, we don't necessarily live in a world that fully embraces black unicorns.

These qualities may not always be easy to embody, but as Lorde teaches us, they possess certain magic and spirituality. It's important to acknowledge that the emotional wounds from our past, stemming from our childhood and relationships, may still affect us.

Part of my work as a therapist is informed by Family Systems Theory, and in this approach, there's something called the "identified patient." Often, the child who receives this label would think of themselves as the black sheep of the family.

As the "identified patient" in your family, you may have noticed that your parents were possibly more strict with you than they were with your other siblings or others in general. You may have felt misunderstood, mocked, ridiculed, and made fun of more than occasionally. The burdens placed upon you may have led to mental and emotional struggles or substance abuse as a means to cope with the scapegoating and overburdening.

It's essential to recognize that families who assign an "identified patient" often go to great measures to keep that member of the family close to them. If the scapegoat truly leaves the group, they (the family) are forced to face their own inadequacies. However, as we delve into the concept of living as a black unicorn now, it becomes crucial to embrace who you really are and harness your black unicorn magic to lead a rich and fulfilling life.

In addition to their positive qualities, black unicorns also have their legitimate shadow side, just like everyone else. While many people conceal their dark side, as a black unicorn, you may be more comfortable with the darker parts of your nature. The key is to discern which parts of yourself can be revealed as hidden assets and which might be keeping you stuck in negative patterns.

Now, let's explore how you can thrive as a black unicorn in a world full of sheep, considering the four main qualities that define black unicorns and separating the superpowers from the habits that drain your magic and happiness.

INDIVIDUALS

Your self-reliance and individualism can help you stand out from the crowd positively. However, these same qualities can lead to unnecessary loneliness and isolation. It's crucial to create relationships with people who value you for the renegade black unicorn that you are, even if vulnerability about your thoughts and feelings might not have been easy in the past.

REBELS

Your rebellious nature makes you more creative and less likely to conform to groupthink. However, it's important to discern between acting out of habit and genuine reasons to reject the system. While you resist joining in at times, there may be worthy causes that deserve your energy and activities that align with your values. Embrace challenges, choice, freedom, and self-expression as you consider the positive impact you can make as a powerful activist.

RISK TAKERS

Your ability to tolerate risks opens up amazing opportunities for growth, but it can also lead to recklessness. While your risk-taking tendencies have brought you success and rewards in various areas, it's essential to channel them with the right support. This way, you can stay connected to the people who matter and achieve breakthroughs without reaching a breakdown.

FREE THINKERS

As a free thinker, you may feel called to follow a non-traditional career path. While entrepreneurship, freelancing, or pursuing unconventional jobs can open you up to judgment, seeking support from loved ones and possibly a therapist is important. By trusting yourself and your instincts, you can navigate the challenges and persevere in pursuing your dreams.

It's worth noting that not every black unicorn is an outsider.

When "black sheep" realize they're called to be a whole different type of creature, they tend to come together. While they retain their individuality and reject the status quo, they find ways to create communities of mutual respect and support while staying true to their own outlooks and future goals.

In that spirit, I'm proud to say that Space Between Counseling Services, influenced by Audrey Lorde's empowering ideas, serves as a gathering place—a holding stall—for black unicorns to deepen their mystique and embrace their unique identities. Together, we can foster an environment where black unicorns thrive and support one another in their journeys of self-discovery and empowerment.

Embracing Intersectionality: A Therapeutic Exploration of Audre Lorde's "The Black Unicorn"