( Together )

“We can do hard things.”
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This is a saying that I’ve been saying + hearing lately - in my head, in my sessions, as a business owner, and as a partner + parent.
Understanding that we only have so much control of certain situations but we always have control of our commitments, our responses, our pause and our compassion for ourselves + others.

Being aware of feelings & expressing them PROACTIVELY - helps when things get "hard". Acknowledging that life can be scary, raw, over-whelming & unpredictable --- helps us to realize that it is normal, and that WE don't always have control when "hard things" enter our days. However, these feeling are a {S I G N} that something is amiss.

If you OFTEN use fight (judgement + aggression) , freeze (indecision + prolonged delay) or flee (avoidance) when {hard things} come your way - you might need some more support? 

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🖊Writing feelings out (journaling) and/or talking to others might help to identify difficult feelings.

📌Both help me personally to move forward with what I needed to do and not let anxious thoughts take over when "hard things" hit the fan.

🔸In addition, reaching out for help shares the load. I often reach out to my husband + colleagues + friends and ask for insight when "hard things" come my way.

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What do you do to confront "hard things"❓

Who are your supports? ❓

Where do you go to reflect + recharge + reset❓

If you find that you often confront "hard things" with fight (aggression + judgement) freeze (prolonged delay + indecision) or flee (avoidance) - it might help to seek more support(s) to help process your feelings and responses to "hard things."

{HARD T H I N G S} do not have to be a way of life - you can share the load, redirect, and pivot when necessary.
 

Dating, Relationships & Carnival Rides:

A roller-coaster relationship feels similar to a roller-coaster ride. At first, the relationship moves at a nice steady pace forward. The person you’re dating is making time and effort to see you and it feels great, putting a smile on your face that’s bigger than Julia Robert's.

Relationships are bound to have moments of ups and downs; that’s normal. However, the downs should never exceed the ups. Those should also be far and few between.

If your relationship starts to have more unexpected jerking and swerving from left to right, back and forth leaving you nauseously dizzy, confused…that is obviously not a fun ride (or a healthy relationship).

If you start to feel more stress then excitement, sadness then happiness and more down’s than ups, it’s time to get your booty off this emotional roller-coaster relationship ride!

What does a "Foxhole" have to do with Couples Work?

Partners can be helped immensely by having an "owners manual" for each other and their relationship.

Does your relationship have one in place? 

Part of that "owners manual" or being an "expert on your partner" can be created by using the principles in the Couple Bubble by Dr. Stan Tatkin. 

It's like being in a "fox hole" together and having each others back consistently both privately and publicly.

Does your partner have YOUR back and YOU, theirs?

Are you struggling within your couple bubble❓

OR

Maybe you two need help forming YOUR couple bubble❓

{{ Yawning }} every creature that has a spine YAWNS

Yawning is a built-in repair circuit which triggers the Parasympathetic Nervous System, which calms everything down in your body.

We most associate yawning with boredom or being sleepy, but new research suggests it can be good for your health - by cooling down your brain.

Yawning is particularly useful when your body is stressed, injured, or ill. If you’ve got a headache, try yawn “surfing”– where you literally try to yawn over and over–in most situations, your headache will ease up.

Scientists at Princeton University found a big yawn can regulate the temperature of the brain and prevent over-heating. Stress activates the sympathetic nervous system, which increase blood pressure. Yawning activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which attenuates the sympathetic nervous system, reduces stress, and lowers the risk for high blood pressure.

Because #yawning disturbs your current sympathetic tone and forces the parasympathetic nervous system to act in order to restore your body to a resting state because yawning discharges STRESS from the body.

Feeling stressed or drained? Make an effort to yawn as a self-care strategy to help your blood pressure!

Be well and #bmore #aware, #Baltimore!

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📷: Borna Bevanda via: @unsplash @bbevanda

What is PACT? How can it help MY relationship?

Baltimore Couples:: Are you desiring a deeper understanding and connection? 
Well then... Let's get OFF the couch and get face-to-face via PACT. 

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Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) - Founder: Dr. Stan Tatkin

PACT teaches both #partners how to #soothe each other's brain during times of #stress. The result is two brains that are chemically wired together and a #securelyfunctioningrelationship . 

A PACT session is unlike any couple's therapy you may have experienced before.

** If you've been to standard couple's therapy, you may have left your session feeling worse than when you started. 
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PACT sessions are 90 mins - 3 hours in length to ensure a positive result with each experience. 
Couples will face each other in rolling chairs, along with other postures as determined by the clinician while maintaining eye contact. Prolonged eye contact between partners allows defensive walls to come down, allowing the clinician to access core issues with less resistance.
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In Baltimore & needing more information? Call Susan for a 15 minute complimentary phone consultation @ 443.527.2042

Mind FULL -OR- Mindful?

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{You always have a choice}

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:: Seeking Calm? Find a guided meditation provider, whom provides the power of Mental Stillness.

I find my calm via buddhify and lessen my chaos with the help of Tara Brach.

Plus, July 1st could be a great day to start a new habit ✌🏼✌🏽✌🏿

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Need Repair?

Stressed? Find your pattern. Find your lesson.
 

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A good way of recognizing patterns in your life is by listening to your feelings, your intuition. 

I’ve found that when I am involved in a pattern, my emotions run a bit stronger, kind of like a warning from my subconscious mind to pay attention to what’s happening.
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Many moons ago, as a young adult, pre-therapy, pre-mediation, pre-tuning in:: More often than not, I recognize the pattern (life lesson) when the situation had ended, or changed. 

Hindsight is 20/20 in this way. It can be difficult to recognize a pattern while it’s playing out. This still happens to me in present life. However, I have learned to better pay attention to MY patterns. 

Reflecting helps this. Awareness helps this. Time helps this. Being surrounded by caring and compassionate loved ones, family, and friends helps this.

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In life there will be continuous patterns and lessons sent our way. If we are aware and tuned in, we will learn to overcome our patterns and learn our individual lessons.
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The key is to be alert. When you’re open to recognizing a pattern, you can change it by learning the lesson, and in doing so, change your life. Equaling: less repeat and more JOY & Awareness.