Do You Have A Pre-Marriage Counseling Question?
Are you Considering pre-marriage Counseling?
I see you. You're recently engaged, and you and your partner are throwing yourselves into wedding planning. Preparing for this next step together may cause some stress, but at the end of the day, you know you and your partner have something special, and you are optimistic about your future together.
You also may have heard family, friends, or coworkers discussing pre-marriage counseling required by their church or religious institutions, and you wonder if you and your partner might just skip that part. You two aren’t religious, after all, and the expense might not seem worth it in the midst of wedding planning.
There are many valid reasons to be on the fence about Premarital Counseling. But if there's any part of you that is considering premarital counseling, read on…
With the right premarital therapist, PRE-MARRIAGE Counseling is absolutely worth the investment.
Pre-marriage Counseling is Preventative and Evidence-Based
The research is clear - pre-marriage counseling contributes to relationship longevity and health. Couples who prepare for marriage or commitment with counseling, coaching, and education are 30% less likely to get a divorce.
Additionally, A 2003 study in the journal Family Relations, found that couples who did some type of precommitment work experienced a 30% increase in relationship satisfaction compared to couples who did not.
Think of pre-marriage counseling as preventative care for your relationship. Just like you get physical regularly to check up on your vitals and maintain your health, pre-marriage counseling takes the vitals of your relationship and helps you and your partner fortify your strengths and get ahead of your weaknesses + points of current or potential conflict.
Pre-marriage Counseling at SBCS is Secular and LGBTQIA+ Affirming
At SBCS, we use the Prepare/Enrich framework to guide your couples’ counseling experience. The Prepare/Enrich framework is highly tailored to you and your partner. This means that we will focus on the areas of your relationship that are most important and will benefit your relationship the most.
If religion or spirituality is an important part of your relationship, then it will be an important part of pre-marriage counseling, and if it's not, your therapist will work with you on the issues that are most salient to your relationship.
AT SBCS, we operate from an LGBTQIA+ affirming perspective. Whatever your religious background, style of relationship, sexuality, or gender identity, your therapist will serve you and your partner with respect, acceptance, and cultural humility.
Your therapist will guide you and your partner through discussion and activities around a range of topics including:
Communication
Conflict Resolution
Personality styles
Finances
Sexuality, Affection, and Intimacy
Relationship Roles
Spirituality
Family and Friends
Children
Leisure Activities
What else can you expect from Prepare/Enrich pre-marriage Counseling at SBCS?
Those who like data and numbers will appreciate the structured and data-based nature of the Prepare/Enrich framework. The Prepare/Enrich assessment collects data around key areas of your relationship, and is tailored to you and your partner based on many factors like whether or not you have children, whether or not you live together, whether you are religious/spiritual, etc…
Both you and your partner will complete separate assessments, and the data will be used to generate a couple's report that includes your couple typology, your strength + growth areas, relationship dynamics, personal stress profiles, couple + family maps, and your SCOPE personality scores.
Although Prepare and Enrich provide a structured curriculum, your therapist will spend the most time guiding you through the areas and exercises that are most relevant to helping you and your partner work on your growth edges, build upon your strengths, and communicate more effectively about the issues that challenge you.
At SBCS, We Bring a Dose of Co-regulation and Attunement to pre-marriage Counseling
Because our founder, Susan Stork, LCPC, CST, is a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) Ambassador, each couples therapist at our practice receives training in attachment theory, regulation, and neuroscience - the pillars of PACT therapy.
This means that in addition to flexibly guiding you and your partner through the Prepare/Enrich framework, your therapist will also help you and your partner cultivate and/or build upon a pattern of secure functioning.
This means that your therapist will model and encourage you and your partner to self-regulate (soothe yourself) and co-regulate (soothe each other) - essential skills that will improve every aspect of your relationship, especially your ability to manage conflict (aka - fight fair), a skill that is as essential to your relationship’s vitality as insulation and drywall are to your home.
