If you’re reading this, you’ve either stumbled across this post by accident (don’t worry, it happens to all of us from time to time), or you read the first post of this series about separating work from home when you work from home during the COVID-19 pandemic last week and are intrigued to learn more about the role of control in this arena.
In either case, welcome! For those of you who are here by accident, you’ve already made it this far and might as well just keep going at this point. However, the choice is yours. If at any point in this blog post you realize that you don’t want to continue reading, take a moment to recognize that this is a decision you are free to make and appreciate the autonomy you get to exercise as you close this tab. If you’d like to proceed, remember this offer as an example of something in your life that you can control.
For individuals whose jobs were deemed sustainable (i.e., able to be maintained) enough to allow for continued paychecks but not within the realms of “essential functions” that permit and/or demand working in the workplace, working today means working from home with little to no choice in the matter.
Photo by Marjan Blan via Unsplash
In general, people don’t like situations in which they perceive themselves as having limited or no choice or control. We tend to experience discomfort in these scenarios, sometimes to such an extent that we feel powerless or trapped. This is especially true when the outcome of the situation is something that will have some sort of significant and/or lasting impact on our lives, and it’s especially especially true when a new low-control situation reminds a person of a previous low-control situation that had devastating repercussions (e.g., survivors of traumatic circumstances such as abuse, assault, accidents, natural disasters, etc.).
With this in mind, if you find yourself feeling on edge or balking at the atmosphere that has been created by this pandemic and the restrictions implemented around it, consider the conditions we’ve been bombarded with; in addition to the scary, dangerous threat posed by the virus itself, so many parts of our lives right now are being influenced, buffeted, restricted, and controlled by decisions in which we don’t have a say and from which it feels like we can’t escape.
If you’ve been having a hard time with this, know that your struggle makes sense in this context and is a valid reaction. Something that may help mitigate this feeling of powerlessness is to practice recognizing (and recognize practicing) the things in your life that you can control, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem. In fact, it may be beneficial to pay attention to the trivial bits. What socks are you going to wear? What are you going to have for breakfast? Are you going to take a shower? If so, which part of your body are you going to wash first? Are you going to continue reading this blog post now, pause and come back to it later, or close the page right this instant and never return?
Deliberately seeking out and attending to these areas of personal control—and, where possible, trying to exercise and maximize them—is a skill that can help working from home seem more tolerable. However, it is also important to note that there are certain elements (in work and in life) that are much more difficult or altogether impossible to control, and these elements can serve as sources of stress.
Factors related to your job (e.g., what you do, who you work for, when you are expected to begin and end your day, and how your progress is gauged), your home life (e.g., the size and layout of your home, the resources you have access to, noises inside and outside of your living space, the people you reside with and the ways they spend their time), and your own functioning (e.g., health, stress levels, motivation, distractibility) interact to create a unique story of what it is like for you to work from home, and that story may vary from day to day. Therefore, this blog series cannot offer a one-size-fits-all approach to making work at home feel easier that will apply to everyone. The hope, however, is that you as a reader will be able to adopt the ideas that are relevant to you and adapt the ones that aren’t, or that you will check in with yourself and realize that you are already doing better than you realized.
If that sounds good to you and you enjoyed this piece about control, check back next Monday to learn about another “C-word” (don’t worry, not that one) related to working from home: context. But remember—it’s your choice!
Meet the Author: Anna Kozitzky, lgpc
Anna offer therapy for individuals at Space Between Counseling Services. She specializes in treating interpersonal trauma, particularly related to sexual violence, and is motivated by the idea that if she can’t prevent people from harming each other in the first place, she can at least help out with the healing process after it happens. In addition to serving people who have directly experienced traumatic violence, she also works with supporters of these individuals. Anna also sees clients who are dealing with depression, anxiety, and major life transitions.
She appreciates creators who see and highlight the humor in the absurd elements of humanity (e.g., Marcel Duchamp, Igor Stravinsky, E.E. Cummings) and, where appropriate, considers it helpful to find moments to share laughter with her clients during their sessions. When she’s not working, Anna enjoys making things—especially food and crafts— to nurture her loved ones. She doesn’t just have one sweet tooth; she has 28 of them. To balance out a sense of cynicism brought about by some of the doom and gloom in the world, Anna likes to play pleasant video games like The Sims, Harvest Moon, and Stardew Valley.