Binge-watching the latest additions of Netflix may have been an appreciated pastime a few months ago, but how do you feel now? With the current quarantine and implementation of social distancing, the necessity of being home indoors may have a different view.
The current isolation has done more than minimize the human interactions that we are accustomed to, it has inadvertently created a new set of norms for an entire nation. While the appearances of gloves and masks covering the hands and faces of others may be unsettling, COVID-19 may have unknowingly unsurfaced a variety of feelings within. It is not uncommon to feel confined, lonely, abandoned, afraid or even hyper-vigilant while sick. Perhaps you have experienced all these feelings and others simultaneously. As we navigate our way through this pandemic, remember to be gentle with yourself, you are human after all. This post aims to explore the “new normal” versions of work-life and relationships during the COVID-19 pandemic and provide readers with suggestions for coping skills and maintaining connection.
The New Workforce
The “norm” that many once held is looking slightly different, especially, surrounding employment. Many are finding themselves working from home, which removes the opportunity to “leave work at work.” How can the two remain a separate entity when they exist in the same shared space? Working remotely may look different for everyone, so creating clear boundaries is key. Managing work tasks from the walls of your home does not have to be daunting.
If you are an employee with a set schedule, try the following tips:
Complete work tasks during regularly scheduled work hours
break up difficult tasks into smaller ones
Take lunch breaks
Take breaks from looking at screens
Complete your daily hygiene routine
Avoid doing work in bed
Some individuals are finding themselves on the opposite end of the spectrum due to the need to navigate recent unemployment. It’s not uncommon to feel guilty or even at fault due to loss of your job and livelihood, however, it’s not your fault. Staying informed of your options; unemployment insurance relief packages, paid sick leave and family leave, mortgage, or rent delays, during this time is important. We are all traveling uncharted territory together.
Love & Quarantine
Some people may be finding themselves in quarantine with their partners and enjoying the increased time together without hectic schedules interrupting. For once, time is on your side allowing you to be present and connective with your partner, giving your relationship the surge it needs. However, being quarantined for an indefinite period may be terrifying for some. By week 4, the honeymoon cocoon has worn off and you may find yourself wondering if your partner has always breathed this loud or been this intrusive.
Abrupt change can be difficult for the brain to immediately process. If you are anything like me, having your space consistently occupied with another can seem like the longest snow day ever. While attempting to self-regulate the uncertainties of COVID-19, it is not uncommon for tension among couples to arise. Redefining boundaries with your partner is more important than ever, especially as your wants and needs may change during this uncertain period.
· Establish alone time – Bathroom breaks should not be your only form of “me time.” Alone time is a great way to recharge and allow you to be present with your partner. Coordinate with your partner so your alone times align.
· Maintain a schedule – You and your partner are both coexisting in a confined space. Schedules often offer a sense of stability. Implementing a schedule that allows time for work-life and personal life can decrease unnecessary conflict.
· Take in the fresh air – Although we are on a stay home order, you can still take in some fresh air. Perhaps going for a walk around the block while maintaining social distancing can prevent you from blowing up at your partner during tense moments. More importantly, getting outside is great for your mental health.
· Stay connected with your village – Now may be an ideal time to nourish your relationships with family and friends. It can be overwhelming being your partner’s sole contact and means of socialization. Schedule a group video chat or phone call.
· Communicate, communicate, communicate – Communication in any relationship is important, coupled with quarantine - it becomes vital. Conflict is to be expected. It is how you respond to the conflict that matters. Be mindful of flooding during arguments. Use time outs and return to disagreements with a calm and level head. Above all, ensure that you “fight fair.” If you’re having trouble with communication, it may be time to explore the potential of starting couples therapy.
· Make use of your time – If conflicting schedules are a typical barrier for you and your partner, this is an ideal time to reconnect. Maybe you need to tidy up your living space that time never allows. Do you still have the sorted laundry you swore you would wash or the leaky faucet that has yet to be tightened? Studies have shown that clean living environments are correlated to a decrease in anxiety, depression, and stress (Ryback, 2016). If you’re less stressed, you’ll be more available for your partner.
“Your job is to know what matters to your partner and how to make him or her feel safe and secure.”
Gratitude & Self-Care
During times of change, refueling is important in maintaining health and well-being. To keep yourself grounded, focus on aspects you can control. This may look different for everyone. Above all else, be gracious to yourself. Every day you put one foot in front of the other and walk into the unknown, says a lot about your resiliency.
Activities to try during self-quarantine:
· Plan game nights with your partner or virtually with friends
· Say connected with others through virtual platforms
· engage in meditation & mindfulness practices
· Listen to upbeat music
· Journal
· Write a Gratitude list
Have you tried out the suggestions in this blog and still feeling overwhelmed? Therapy may be a necessary support. Many therapists are offering telehealth therapy to support you during this unprecedented time. To learn more about working with a therapist at Space Between Counseling Services, visit our Team Page.
Meet the Author: Brittany Spencer, LGPC
Brittany Spencer, LGPC, is a therapist at Space Between Counseling Services. Brittany works with individuals and couples in the Charm City area as they manage stress, grief, LGBTQIA+ related concerns, and more.
Brittany’s integrative therapeutic approach has allowed her to interact with a diverse population to increase self-awareness, enhance communication skills, and utilize coping skills that allows her clients to show up as present as they can within their relationships. Processing life is not always easy, sometimes a safe space and comfy couch can be the most simplistic start to allow someone to show up for themselves. Brittany strives to increase the autonomy of her clients.
When not working to evolve her counseling skills, Brittany enjoys outdoor activities. As the weather changes, you’re like to catch her at local 5k races in the Charm City area. As a former collegiate athlete, Brittany loves attending NBA and WNBA basketball games. As a newlywed, Brittany enjoys bonfires and attending community festivals with her wife.