MENTAL HEALTH AND THE HOLIDAYS

Winter is a time when the days get shorter, nights grow longer, and we are enveloped in cold and darkness. There’s a cozy, nestling nature that wants to exist. This desire to sit by a crackling fire, wrapped in a fluffy blanket, and sipping a warm cup of tea can be powerful. Yet most of us still have to go to work, pick up kids from school, prepare for holidays, keep house, walk the dog, and all of the rest of life’s maintenance work! It’s no wonder that our mental health can suffer during the winter, leading to issues like seasonal depression and holiday stress.

So let’s talk about it! What are some ways you can protect your mental health this season?

Ways to manage this holiday season:

Create boundaries, communicate them, and stick to them.

```
Create space for rest and self-care
```
```
Don’t go into debt for gifts
```

Modify traditions so they are sustainable for YOU

```
Seek professional help
```

1. Create Boundaries

Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves within relationships which protect our peace and wellbeing. Think of them as guidelines that help define appropriate behavior within our relationships! Boundaries are personal and actionable, they are not rules for how others will behave (after all, we can’t control other people’s behaviors!). A boundary should be clear and decisive, have reasonable limits, and fill a specific need.

So what does that look like for you? (Content notice: boundaries around eating and body image discussed). Maybe you have a specific need not to talk about weight, body image, or food choices, as it’s triggering for you. This is reasonable! Imagine you sit down to dinner and Mom says:

“Oh honey, that pie will go straight to your thighs!”

You can assert your boundary, “Mom, I will enjoy my food today and am not accepting comments on my body.” That’s clear and decisive! And it may be enough for mom to accept the boundary. If there’s pushback, set your limit, “If there are any more comments on weight and bodies, I will need to excuse myself from this party.” Remember, you cannot control someone else’s actions, only your response to them. So your limit needs to relate to an action that you will take.

Other winter and holiday boundaries may be:

I will not overextend myself this season, and will say no to multiple invitations on the same day.
Our family is prioritizing experiences and will not be accepting or giving gifts this year. Instead we would love to get together with you for some quality time, how about a game night?
We value bodily autonomy, please ask before hugging our children.
I need time off to recharge, I won’t check my email on break and will set an away message indicating when I will be available again.
We can’t travel this year, instead we can schedule a time to FaceTime with you and catch up.
I am uncomfortable driving in the dark, when we get together it needs to be during the daytime.

2. Respecting Boundaries

Just as it's essential to establish your own boundaries, it's equally important to manage holiday depression by respecting the boundaries of others. Recognize that everyone may have different comfort levels and expectations during the holidays. Being understanding and supportive of others' needs contributes to a more harmonious and enjoyable season for everyone involved.

3. Rest and Self-Care

Even with some empowering boundaries in place, the chaos of the winter season can contribute to feeling fatigued. You may feel a lot of pressure to make holidays special or experience overwhelm with routines being changed. This is why it’s crucial to incorporate rest and self-care into your winter days!

Self-care does not need to be expensive or time-consuming. No matter what your resources are, there is some form of self-care that you can incorporate. Whether it's taking time for a quiet moment of reflection, enjoying a solo walk in nature, or simply getting enough rest, establishing personal boundaries ensures you have the energy and emotional reserves to fully engage in other aspects of your life. Remember, it's essential to prioritize self-care by recognizing and respecting your own needs.

4. Making Holidays Work for You

Instead of spreading yourself thin attending numerous events, focus on creating meaningful rituals for connection. Whether it's a cozy family game night, a special meal with loved ones, or a heartfelt gift exchange, these intentional moments can provide a deeper sense of fulfillment and connection than a hectic schedule of social obligations. This season, think through what types of healthy holiday habits you desire and establish your limits. You don’t need to go into debt buying gifts, you don’t need to attend every function you’re invited to, and you can modify traditions to fit your needs. There is no shame in asking for help or creating accommodations where you need it! That might mean serving a holiday meal on paper plates because you don’t have the energy to wash all those dishes, and that’s okay!

5. Seek Professional Help

This time of year can be especially difficult. Coping with holiday stress and the change in weather and daylight can increase loneliness and depression. You may have difficult family dynamics that you’re confronted with as you make holiday plans. The pressure to establish New Year resolutions can bring up feelings of inadequacy. Joy and sadness can exist this season, and that is normal. If you are seeking some extra support, we at SBCS are here for you.

Meet the Author: Rae Buchanan

Rae Buchanan (she/her) is deeply curious about the stories we hold within and values an empathetic, person-centered approach to counseling. Rae is LGBTQIA+ affirming and dedicated to working with artists of all kinds. With a background rich in the performing arts, she is aware of the specific mental and emotional trauma and struggles that are often associated with creative work. Rae also specializes in working with university students, University Students, ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Life and Career Transitions.

Rae is currently accepting new clients. Interested in working with Rae Contact Niina Bacha to schedule your therapeutic fit call today support@spacebetweencounselingservices.com or call 443-240-5207

TO KNOW MORE ABOUT RAE BUCHANAN CHECK THE LINK BELOW

Learn more about rae

Mental Health and the Holidays