Inside a Therapist’s Brainspotting Experience
Going into my 3-day training for Brainspotting, I didn’t know what to expect. I was number one, very grateful to be even given the opportunity to take part in this training as an intern. Two, although I had seen it done on one of my clients and have been a first hand witness to how it’s impacted their life, I didn’t understand exactly how it worked. Three, I’ve never been to such a long professional training before. My experience though was a lot better than I could’ve imagined.
I had been given advice from my colleagues, such as staying close to the training due to the possibility of intense fatigue and strong emotions and finding a buddy-both of which I did. When I arrived on the first morning, I took an empty seat one row from the front, smack dab in the middle of two other women. Both of whom were experienced therapists, who by the end of the weekend I learned a lot from (one of them in particular became my little guardian angel and we hope to take more brainspotting trainings together in the future). From the start of the weekend to the very end, the vibe was welcoming, warm, inclusive and curiosity-driven. The trainers themselves gave an air of being lifelong learners which was inspiring, non-intimidating and made their teaching styles easy to learn from. Throughout the weekend, you’re doing the brainspotting and having the brainspotting done to you so lets just say that I was very happy that my hotel was only 5 minutes from the training location because each night I was exhausted and starving!
Before the training, I had volunteered to be used for one of the demonstrations during the weekend. My plan was to use a car accident that I had been in when I was 17.
“The car accident was one of those defining moments of life where your perspective of yourself and life changes so quickly. My view of my own mortality changed, my mental health changed, my body changed, my relationships shifted and purpose became clear. Of course in my day to day, I don’t consciously think about it - its been almost 15 years since it happened-but my brain and body remember that night very clearly. Sometimes its the pain in my right jaw and arm where I was hit, sometimes its the fear I feel driving in the car on a rainy day and sometimes it’s the lump in my throat when I say goodbye to loved ones before or after a trip”
These are examples of how the trauma of my accident at 17 was stored into my brain and body.
I was surprised at how emotional I got while being Brainspotted during the demonstration on the 2nd day. Like I said, it was awhile ago but my emotions ebbed and flowed like the tides of the ocean but throughout it, I knew it was anchored. I knew I was going to be okay. I felt safe. The instructor did an amazing job of staying attuned and her presence and energy was a large part of the safety that I felt. After the demonstration, the instructor and I continued in a more private area, allowing the trauma to keep moving through. I was even more exhausted than the first night and I slept hard with no dreams. This was unlike my first night where I had vivid and disturbing dreams. I woke up feeling more refreshed than I have in months (I’m in my last semester of grad school y’all so this was remarkable). I also woke up pain free. For years since the car accident I’ve had pretty severe pain on the right side of my jaw. I’ve been to a chiropractor, an acupuncturist, and a dentist but the pain has persisted. Weeks later as I’m writing this, the pain still hasn’t returned.
“My biggest takeaway from my Brainspotting experience was the interconnectedness of life. We’ve all been affected by trauma and often times that trauma tries to push us away from others. Sometimes trauma wins in that way, but sometimes it doesn’t. And when it doesn’t, it can look like having compassion for yourself and others, understanding that we’re all having a human experience and that we can give and receive a little more grace and kindness. ”
As always, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Everyone’s experience with brainspotting will be different but I hope me sharing my own experience will be helpful in some way.
Photo by Cristina Gottardi
Meet the Author: Amber Tunney
Amber works with clients in all life stages in Baltimore who are looking to unpack their load with a professional. She has a special interest in working with clients who are struggling with anxiety, depression, low self worth and relationship anxiety. She also has experience working with clients who have ADHD and who have suffered from trauma.
When Amber isn’t working with clients or studying, she enjoys cooking, baking, eating, astrology and anything competitive. Amber loves Baltimore City and currently resides in Mt. Vernon with her long time partner, 2 dogs (Sage and Camden) and 1 black cat (Tyson).
Amber is currently accepting new clients. Interested in working with Amber? Contact Niina Bacha to schedule your therapeutic fit call today support@spacebetweencounselingservices.com or call 443-240-5207
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