To start off, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this blog. Ahhh, doesn’t that feel great to hear? It definitely feels great to write because I truly am grateful for your time and attention. My goal is to give you the what, why and how of gratitude with the ultimate hopes we can apply this to our daily lives. First, let’s define gratitude.
Gratitude is: “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”
Read that carefully. And then read it again. Reflect on what is showing up for you when you think of gratitude. Ask yourself:
What is it like when you tell someone that you are thankful for them or an act of kindness they extended to you?
What is it like when someone verbalizes to you their thanks and gratitude?
I hope that there are positive emotions showing up right now- don’t be worried if there are some other feelings showing up when you are on the receiving end of gratitude. It can be hard for most to accept positive feedback. However, practicing gratitude on an intentional, daily basis can help rewire and reframe your thinking. You might start to notice that what once felt unnatural when accepting gratitude or thanks from others, starts to feel genuine and well received. And the cycle of gratitude keeps going.
It’s all science. Watch the short video (above) on the science behind gratitude and why it’s not just happenstance that showing gratitude is helpful in this brain rewiring. Thank you for watching. See, it’s getting easier already!
So now that you know a little more about what gratitude is and the science behind gratitude, let’s check-in about how you can implement a gratitude plan into your daily life. Probably the most important thing to remember is that it has to feel genuine to you. Don’t force it, but remember to be intentional about when and how you are recognizing your gratitude. Here are a few ways that you can create a personal culture of gratitude and spread the wealth. Unlike COVID-19, gratitude is something we WANT to spread to others. I am thankful for you laughing at my joke. Smiling? Eye rolling? I digress.
Create a gratitude journal
This can be done by using your personal technology (phone, tablet, laptop) for our techies out there OR you can break out the old fashioned pen and paper journal. I personally go with a physical paper journal- and I’m OK if you want to label me old fashioned. I prefer to be called screen-fatigued though. I keep my journal in an area on my desk that I will see every day and it triggers my memory to record my gratitudes for the day. Aim for writing down three things you are grateful for.
Don’t make it complicated- it’s for your eyes only (unless you choose to share)- a few words will do. This could become a welcome morning ritual and a way to start your day out on a note of honesty. You could also opt to end your day in your gratitude journal as a ritual to end the work day and reset for your evening. I really invite you to reflect on what happens when you have a tough day ahead or already started out with a rough morning- this is where the growth happens.
You may notice that those days are going to be harder to write down those three gratitudes. And that’s OK! Even if all you can write down is, “I’m grateful that I have a gratitude journal”- gratitude is still doing its job. Keep going and keep coming back. I even sometimes take time to go back and read posts from months ago just to remind me of where my head has been. You can even go to the next layer and label your feeling(s) for that day with your gratitudes as another reflective opportunity. Go get yourself a journal. For those of us who used to carry around decorated binders in high school (am I showing my age?)- add those stickers, drawings, funky art, favorite colors--find something that is unique to you so it feels special and welcome.
incorporate gratitude with those around you.
Let’s start with work life gratitude. In this day and age of ::insert your virtual work meeting platform here:: culture at work- have you taken note of when meetings start out with positivity and gratitude versus meetings that start out getting down to the minutiae? There is almost a palpable difference. (Disclaimer: If I remembered what it was like to be in a real live in-person meeting, I would have led with that. Please note this is applicable to non-COVID times too.)
Are there ways in your work that you can help to encourage gratitude especially when it’s needed now more than ever? Suggest that staff meetings start out with good news or thanks for coworkers. If you lead or manage a department, consider challenging everyone with reaching out to one (or more) people on your team with gratitude. If you have daily or weekly newsletters for your place of employment, suggest adding a section for gratitude to others. If you don’t have that much pull in your workplace, do it for yourself. Add a personal calendar reminder to email/text/call/write a note to one co-worker each week to say thanks for something they did for you. Watch and see what happens when people start to participate. Reflect on what shows up for you if you can see a work culture shift towards gratitude and thanks. I know I am personally thankful to the leaders in my workplace who take the time to encourage gratitude. Every. Single. Interaction.
examine gratitude in your home life
I invite you to think about how gratitude does or does not show up in your household or with your personal circle of your favorite people. If I look into my crystal ball, I think I can easily predict that you are most likely internally grateful when your partner takes care of a chore without being asked or a friend sends you a text that inadvertently made your day better without them knowing it was perfect timing. Now think about how many times we go out of our way to intentionally thank those people. And more than just the “thumbs-up emoji”, folks. It may feel unnatural at first- especially if this is not commonplace. But keep going and keep coming back to it. Normalize what gratitude looks like in your personal orbit. Make it weird and fun. Weird just means the gratitude is absorbing.
Now go and spread the gratitude. There are tons more ways to practice gratitude. I reiterate that you need to find what works for you. Seek what does not feel labored or disingenuous and will help you keep up with a desirable gratitude habit. And please, please, please don’t wait till Thanksgiving 2021. Make everyday Thanksgiving.
Meet the Author: Diana Harden, LGPC
Diana Harden is a current Licensed Graduate Professional Counselor here at Space Between Counseling Services. She is accepting new clients on Saturdays beginning in April 2021. Diana uses an eclectic counseling approach combining person-centered, solution-focused, CBT, and mindfulness modalities- but also integrates other counseling approaches to best serve her clients. Diana is a huge advocate for daily mindfulness, gratitude and self-care practices and encourages her clients to engage in these necessary activities. Diana welcomes her clients into a space with her that is free of judgement and full of self-exploration. She specializes in treating anxiety and depression, life transitions, career transitions, relationship concerns, self-esteem, and body positivity.
When Diana is not working with her wonderful clients and colleagues, she can be found hiking, practicing yoga, spinning, and cooking (and/or eating). Diana is also a huge animal lover and enjoys spending time with her furry friends. She has also become mildly obsessed with the Discovery+ Streaming App and may be found on a snowy day watching all the new cooking and home improvement shows.