Does your mental health lead to difficulty…
Washing your hands?
Cleaning?
Brushing your teeth?
Changing clothes?
Showering?
Washing or brushing your hair?
Completing household chores?
Whether it’s doing dishes in a timely manner or showering regularly—there is a lot of shame around not being able to keep up with your hygiene. Hygiene is a moralized topic in our society—meaning we often view those who struggle with hygiene as less than or failing in some way. This may lead individuals to view these struggles as personal shortcomings or inadequacies instead of a symptom of what they are going through with their mental health. Because of the stigma around what isn’t considered socially acceptable hygiene, the descriptors of lazy, disgusting, or unacceptable are often given to individuals who struggle with their hygiene. Our society stigmatizes perceived flaws with the physical body, especially related to health and well-being. Living under this stigma can create experiences of shame for individuals, impacting their sense of identity and their social bonds.
Many struggle to maintain their hygiene during periods of depression. Depression is often characterized by diminished interest in activities, fatigue, and loss of motivation—all things that can impact hygiene. When you don’t have the energy to complete daily tasks, that usually extends to also not having the energy to keep up with daily hygiene tasks. Depression can also come with physical aches and pains that make cleaning and caring for yourself difficult. If your body is physically in pain, it can be a lot harder to work up the motivation to shower or do the dishes. Some individuals may experience sensory issues related to bathing or showering, such as feeling a sense of overwhelm or pain at the sound or feel of running water. When the experiences of hygiene themselves cause discomfort, that discomfort may outweigh any societal expectations or shame the individual is experiencing.
Since the pandemic started, many individuals’ daily routines have been disrupted greatly. There is a lot less structure in daily life and a lot more stress, isolation, and grief. All of these factors can have an immense impact on previously existing mental health conditions. Spending more time at home might mean spending more time in a messy environment, which can then also impact mental health. This can become a cycle, where your mental health is negatively impacted so you aren’t able to clean or take care of yourself, which in turn negatively impacts your mental health. Getting stuck in this cycle can be frustrating and feel never ending.
Oftentimes admitting to yourself that your hygiene is struggling can feel shameful, let alone reaching out to someone else. You may worry about how you will be viewed or if the other person will judge you. These anxieties lead to keeping silent, which can feel lonely and isolating. These anxieties may even extend to the therapeutic relationship, as individuals are worried about how their therapist will view them and feel too ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it. It is important to remind yourself that problems with hygiene are a common symptom associated with mental health struggles. Your therapist is familiar with this and will not judge or shame you. If you struggle with how to bring this up with a therapist, it can be as simple as saying “_____ is something I’m struggling with right now.”
When hygiene feels extra difficult,
the following tips can help:
Rinse your mouth with mouthwash before you go to sleep
Keep wisp disposable brushes by your bed as an alternative to brushing your teeth when needed
Brush your teeth in the shower if you are able to shower—cuts down on one of the steps
Keep body and face wipes in your room/bathroom for when showering isn’t an option
Putting on deodorant won’t fix everything but it’s still a step that can make you feel better
Put a chair in the shower for if standing is too much
Take a bath instead of a shower
Move trash from your living room/bedroom to the kitchen(or wherever your trash is)—still is a step in cleaning and can feel less overwhelming when it’s all in one place
Set personal hygiene alarms for things like brushing your teeth or changing clothes
Try doing a task for 30 seconds. The idea of having to clean your whole kitchen can feel much more overwhelming than knowing you only need to clean for 30 seconds. Continue in 30 second intervals for as long as you feel able.
Practice self-compassion and understanding for what you’re going through
Reach out for support! This can mean reaching out to a therapist but it can also mean talking to the support system in your life about what’s going on. Maybe your roommate will help you clean the living room. Maybe your partner will wash your hair for you. Maybe your parent will do your pile of laundry. Oftentimes we feel like we need to do everything ourselves, which just isn’t feasible.
No matter what helps you when you’re struggling with hygiene, it is important to remind yourself that moralizing your hygiene and tying it to your own personal worth helps no one. Hygiene is important for so many reasons, but if your mental health is making it difficult to take care of yourself, you don’t need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about reaching out for support.
Meet the Author: Abby Smith, LGPC
Abby Smith, LGPC works with individuals and couples struggling with depression, anxiety, transitional periods, life stressors, and identity concerns. Abby is especially passionate about working with young adults, LGBTQ+ individuals, and current or former sex workers. Abby is also an adjunct professor at Towson University, where she teaches the undergraduate courses Psychology of Learning and Introduction to the Helping Relationship. Abby likes to spend her free time trying new recipes, going on hikes with her dog, and re-watching The L Word for the thousandth time.